Some of you may know...
I’ve been struggling with my health for the passed few weeks. After a very intense shamanic healing which involved a Soul Retrieval, (where by parts of the soul are called back), I have been constantly ill. First I caught a nasty virus, and not long after that I strained my back, and have been in immense pain ever since.
First of all, all I wanted is to be rid of the pain. I took shop bought painkillers, but none of them touched it. I phoned the doctor and asked for a stronger Ibuprofen, as after 5 days my back was still in constant spasm and I couldn’t dress myself, or drive, and could just about walk. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on which way you look at it, they had a shortage of stronger ibuprofen, and by the time the pharmacy had got the correct medication in 4 days after the initial consultation, the spasming had mostly subsided.
However.....
the pain was still there, especially when I did certain movements, and I was desperate to get back to work – not only for the “needs must” (being self employed I don’t get paid if I don’t work and I’ve got 4 hungry children to feed), but also because I have clients that I don’t want to be letting down. So, I decided to take the strong ibuprofen so that I could work, those of you that come to me regularly will be shouting hypocrite at the screen right now, I’m sure! The reason I say that is I’m always preaching to my clients to not use painkillers to mask pain. Pain is there as a message to body to stop, rest and to take notice, and it must be listened to otherwise things can get worse!
PAIN = Pay Attention INwards
I must say here though if you need to take painkillers than you should, under medical supervision of course, its not a weakness, but I do think its important to still rest, don’t just take them so you can carry on as you were before and not address the problem itself!
And guess what? My back pain got worse once the ibuprofen wore off. Plus while I was on them I felt really spaced out, like everything was in slow motion.
I decided to ....
take my own advice, and listen and connect deeply with the pain.
“My life changed when I decided my pain matters” – Stephi Wagner
Firstly I sat and acknowledged the pain and pinpointed where it was. I took a few deep breaths in and out into the area. I gave the pain a colour and then inhaled the colour up into my mouth and exhaled it out of me. I did that a few times until the pain started to lessen.
I then asked myself, what does having this pain bring up for me on an emotional level. Here’s my list:
- anger
- disappointment
- frustration
- guilt
- fear
- loneliness
- sadness
- shame
- embarrassment
- helplessness
- vulnerability
Finally
I asked myself what are the thoughts that are causing this emotion. For example, anger – I’m angry because I can’t work and I need and want to work. I can’t do all the things I want to be doing. I can’t take care of myself properly, I can’t take care of my kids the way I want to. I can’t drive, I can’t dress myself, I’m struggling to even go to the toilet on my own and I can just about manage to walk. Plus I’m missing social arrangements that I was really looking forward to!
Then I used a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and tapped through each of the emotions and all thoughts and beliefs that were coming up alongside them.
The pain didn’t completely disappear but it helped increase movement, it helped me to accept the situation, and see that pain is at times a part of life, and as such shouldn’t just be wished away.
Apart from making me stop.....
having intense pain has taught me a few things:
- gratitude
- patience
- connection with my body
- mindfulness
- how important your health is and to never take it for granted
- how supported I am
- how many wonderful people I have in my life
- when you are in pain you are focused, in the moment, engaged, present – time slows down
- acceptance – this is part of my journey
- to engage with all of life and face it head on
- its good to ask for help, and accept help when offered!
If you are currently experiencing pain, physical or emotional, and would like some professional support please get in touch.
